1. Chris Brown beats up Rihanna -- WTF! Say it ain't So Chris? Why would you jeopardize your sponsorship with Doublemint gum (oh, and your music career) just to slap your girlfriend around a little bit? Where did you learn this violence...it was during your stint on the O.C. wasn't it? I knew guys named Chris were trouble but DAMN! OMG wait...does this mean I have to stop liking his song "Forever?"
2. A-Rod and Michael Phelps being crucified for their 'indiscretions' -- WTF! So this is the second week in a row that I'm defending Alex Rodriguez...you'd almost think that I actually like the guy! But seriously, A-Rod did steroids in 2003...so did a hundred other guys in Major League Baseball...literally! And 2003 was sooo 6 years ago! And poor Michael Phelps is just trying to have a good time after winning a record-breaking 8 gold medals at the Beijing Olympics...sorry for partying! He's not a monk for crying out loud; he's a 23 year old idiot (like 99% of guys) who just happens to have amazing abs and fins for feet. I feel like the media is turning these stories into a 2009 version of the Salem Witch Trials. Why don't we just hang them or burn them at the stake?
3. Salma Hayek breastfeeds another woman's baby -- WTF! Ok, so she did it because the mother had no milk but it's still kind of creepy! Couldn't she have just pumped it into a bottle and then fed him? I mean, it's not like this kid is the first to not get milk fresh out of the boob...and what is this poor kid going to do now that he's had a taste of Salma's 'goodies?' Salma--you give new meaning to the word 'TEASE!'
4. Valentine's Day -- WTF! That's it. Cupid sucks. Who wants to get hit by an arrow by some creepy, diaper-wearing doofus anyway?!
Ok, I'm done, 'cause I drank one too many margaritas at lunch and am about ready to pass out!
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