Mid-Week WTF's

1. Fortune Cookies -- WTF! I know this one was on my list a few weeks ago but they have reached a whole new level of suck. Today's fortune: You are a happy man. WHAAAAT! First I'm a lesbian and now I'm a man?!! This is ludicrous and I'm officially at war with the Chinese! I can tell you this though...if I was a man, I definitely would be happy because I'd be a beer-drinking, sports crazed maniac with a sailor's mouth, pimping myself all over the place...oh wait, that's me now...maybe I am a man!

2. Chris Brown pleads 'not guilty' to assaulting Rihanna -- WTF! Deny, deny, deny. This seems to be an oath that all guys take when they hit puberty because, even when they're caught red handed, they still deny it. I blame Shaggy for this nonsense...we don't believe you when you say, "it wasn't me" so just man up and admit that you're an ass!

3. Ticket prices at the new Yankee and Mets stadiums -- WTF! Maybe I've been sniffing too many Sharpie markers lately but I could have sworn we were in a recession. Yet, ticket prices for our beloved NY baseball teams have sky-rocketed and I, for one, can't afford any seat that's not in the bleacher section (which no longer sells alcohol so that's definitely not an option lol). But, I guess through good economic times and bad, we will stick by our teams. They can take away our jobs and our homes but they cannot take away our freedom...to buy $4 hot dogs and $8 beers!

4. Syracuse Orange -- WTF! I just don't get it...orange what? Orange itself cannot be a mascot because it's a color and colors do not possess any animate qualities. They used to be the Orangemen (and Orangewomen)...why can't they go back to that? At least it made some sense. Or maybe they can be the OrangeS because their mascot looks like an orange and probably is designed to be one anyway. There is a world of possibilities here but my personal vote goes to the Orange-Headed Yogurt Slingers.

5. Working on Good Friday -- WTF! I don't really think this one needs any explanation so I'll just say that it really bites!

I'm going to leave you with my man Gilles' smoldering hot Paso Doble from this week's DWTS:



If my body gets any hotter, someone's going to need to call the NY fire dept. to come put me out. God, he is delicious...this Easter, skip the Peeps and get me one of him please!!!