Well, it's been about a month since my last post so I guess I should apologize for the hiatus but between my birthday, the beginning of summer, and my trip to Barcelona, I was feeling overwhelmed by happy thoughts and lacking inspiration, particularly in the WTF department. But, in the famous words of psycho Chucky doll, "I'm baaack!" Let the WTF's commence...
1. 72-year old woman trying to get pregnant -- WTF! She keeps trying and she keeps failing. Reason--she's a wrinkly old hag! There's a reason you're not producing any eggs lady!!! You should have thought about having babies when you were young enough to still chase after them without a walker! Why don't you just go ask Octo-Mom if you can borrow some of her kids until you kick the bucket which, by my watch, should be any day now.
2. Same named couple to wed -- WTF! Girl (Kelly Hildebrandt) finds boy (Kelly Hildebrandt) on Facebook. Girl and boy start talking/dating. Girl and boy get engaged. Sounds like an ill-plotted love story for dumb people if you ask me! First of all, I have very strong issues about Facebook as a dating source (read my Valentine's Day "Unlove Story" for details). Second, what girl in their right mind would marry a guy named Kelly?! Girl with guy's name = cute...guy with girl's name = lame and seriously immasculating! I give this marriage 6 months before Kelly (girl) gets bored and seeks out another Kelly Hildebrandt on Facebook. I can see the headline now: Kelly Hildenbrant (girl) divorces Kelly Hildenbrandt (boy) for lesbian lover Kelly Hildenbrandt (girl--sort of).
3. Tony Romo breaks up with Jessica Simpson again -- WTF! My WTF is not to the actual fact that they broke up because, let's face it, there's only so much chickeny tuna a dude can put up with. Rather, it's his plan of action in the matter that merits this WTF. He did it right before her birthday--c'mon Tony, it's been done! At least have the decency to come up with an original d-bag way to dump the broad. You could have had a sky-writer write the words, "Yo bitch, we're done!" or put a message up on the jumbotron at the Dallas Cowboys opening game saying, "It's been fun but I need to get my game back or I'll get fired!" You could even have sent her a break-up card from my wonderful collection of greeting cards, "Hate Cards by Liz!" (and yes, these cards do exist). For shame Tony Romo!
4. Working on Mondays -- WTF! What could be worse? How about having to get to work at 8am on a Monday!!! Seriously, who came up with this 5 day work week? The weekday to weekend ratio is completely screwed up! Should anybody wish to support my bid for President of the United States, I would abolish this blasphemous rule and impose a 3 day weekend every week effective immediately upon my inauguration!
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